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From The Desk Of
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Real Encounters!
This section of the Encounters International Handbook provides real world examples of the information contained in the previous sections. The clients you will see and read about below are not my typical clients. Obviously, not all Encounters International clients can be the youngest, oldest, or have the shortest engagement period. I selected them to show the true diversity of clients, personalities, ages, and situations.
I have been careful not to label these as success stories, although they really are. We have sections on the web site to announce recent engagements and recent weddings.
In most cases, these are the extremes. Presented because an example quite often is best answer to a question or concern! These are some of the most frequently asked questions that I am asked. As an active client or prospective client, you can use these examples to track your own experiences and progress. I have also included quotes from the clients and some personal notes about them.
Tom: "How many engaged couples do you have at the agency?" Tom must have thought we were complete idiots, total amateurs, or
both! Perhaps, in the very beginning we were. However, we began and
continue with complete honesty and openness. Tom was one of the first
brave risk takers who decided to join Encounters International in the
early days. Tom had spent a lot of money in the fruitless dating scene.
But, he knew there was always hope. This time, his hope came from a
distant land, Russia!
In December 1993, Tom traveled to Moscow. He was overwhelmed with
everything that happened to him on his trip. He later wrote me: "Any
single guy with the desire and financial resources to get married who
doesn't use your service is nuts!"
Tom and Olga celebrated their 5th wedding anniversary in March
1999. Their daughter, Alina, was the first baby born in the Encounters
International big family of clients. Thank you Tom for becoming a member
in those very early days!
"I always wanted to meet the man of my
dreams—an artist. I am an artist and always wanted to share my life
with a man in the same profession. When I came to the Encounters International
office in Moscow and saw his shining eyes reflecting the depth of his
soul, I decided to write a letter to him. We have a large age difference
which I do not feel! Seeing his smile is the greatest happiness for me."
Oliver Beale was 59
years old when he received an 'unsolicited' letter from 29 year old Irena
Shumilova of Moscow. Of course, he was flattered at the experience of
a younger woman initiating correspondence with him. Irena saw Oliver's
photos and profile in one of the Encounters International male client
photo albums. He wanted to meet a younger woman. However, Oliver had also
hoped to find a woman willing to support a free lance artist. That was
his second criteria for a Russian woman.
Irena did not fail to exceed his expectations in this respect either.
The first week after her arrival in Maryland, on a fiancée Visa,
she earned $90. She was very proud to pay her share of the couple's
expenses. Oliver and Irena are the Encounters International couple with
the largest age difference-30 years.
The important thing to notice here is the expectations of each person.
Oliver was seeking a younger woman, willing to support a free lance
artist. Irena wanted to find a fellow artist who was patient and would
be a best friend. Their expectations were very different. Yet, Oliver
met Irena's expectations and Irena met Oliver's expectations. In that
way, they are a perfect match! What more could anyone ask for?
Yes, their age difference has created some unique problems for the
couple. But, since they know they are exactly what each other
was seeking, they are very well equipped to work through the issues
together. Instead of focusing on the age 'difference,' they remained
focused on the expectation 'similarities!' The positive aspects far
outweighed any possible negative ones. Oliver and Irena are the Encounters
International couple with the largest age difference-30 years. They
should be a lesson to everyone concerned about age.
His response, "Larisa Melsitova!" "She is beautiful and seems like
a very intelligent and caring person." "Being cute in appearance is
very important to me."
Unlike most clients, Craig did not follow my advice for beginners;
choose 10 women to begin corresponding with. He decided to initiate
correspondence exclusively with Larisa. A few months later, he was off
to Moscow to meet her face-to-face and confirm the chemistry. It was
a good match so Craig and Larisa became engaged. The couple married
in September 1996-five months after joining Encounters International.
Craig wished to meet Larisa. He met and married her. He also wished
for children and that is where this story continues. Craig adopted Larisa's
two-year old son. The couple has two more children of their own; Kristina
and Nicolay.
I really wish that I could see the Amos family more often at our Saturday
Club events. But, my wishes are not as important as Craig's wishes!
Then again, with three small children running around my home and office,
I should be careful what I wish for. Like Craig, it may come true.
Norman and Elena May celebrated their marriage in front of a large
crowd of family, friends, and well wishers during the Encounters International
Open House '98. They are the couple who have the shortest courtship
period.
"I went to Moscow without great expectations.
It would be nice to meet her I thought, but who knows...it would be nice
tourism. I got off the airplane and saw her. I was very pleased. I thought,
'My God, I could marry this woman!' And then several years later that
actually happens!" After his initial disappointment, Malcolm decided to try again. He
began contacting other Encounters International women a year later.
He was ready for a second trip to meet another Moscow woman. When Malcom
met her, he realized that his feelings to Alina never changed; but were
deeper than he expected. So he couldn't resist calling her while he
was in Moscow. They met once again. The initial attraction to each other
took over.
Malcolm returned to Washington and announced that he was engaged;
or rather 're-engaged' to the same woman he met over a year prior. Alina
came to Malcolm on a fiancée visa. However, her parents, back
in Russia, got seriously sick. She had to return to Moscow. After the
crisis was over there were only a few days left before the expiration
of Alina's 3-month fiancée visa. Malcolm did the impossible;
he arranged fiancée re-entry permission for Alina. She came to
Dulles airport in Washington the same day when her visa would expire.
They had just a few hours to get married in order to avoid the problems
of expired visa status.
And indeed they did it. Over all, it took almost three years
for this marriage to take place. But it was worth it for everyone!
He asked the usual questions of a person, including what to expect
when dating Russian women? The simple answer I gave him was, "In general,
they are more appreciative." Simply put, that means that Russian women
do not take for granted the little things men do for them or the attention
they receive. Russian women notice and appreciate even the smallest
things that men do for them and are glad to show their appreciation
in return. Everyone knows that making a woman happy also makes the man
happy; unhappy women make men miserable.
Tatiana Scherbinina initiated contact with Mark after he became
a client of Encounters International. After viewing her video tape interview,
he enthusiastically responded to her initial letter. His Valentine's
Day bouquet of roses to Tatiana was the largest that any of my clients
sent to Moscow.
Tatiana was so impressed and so much in love, that she became the
first Russian woman to contact me to send something to Mark. For us,
the amount of money it cost was very small. But, for Tatiana, the money
to send Mark some 'I Love You' balloons represented a month's
salary in Russia! Can you imagine any woman willing to sacrifice
this much just to express a thank you and her love for her man? It was
very touching on me, as well as my staff.
Needless to say this effort and great sacrifice had quite a positive
impact on Mark also. So much so that, he telephoned my office the same
day the balloons arrived with only one excited question, "How soon can
you arrange a Russian Visa for me?" Mark continued, "I have already
talked to my boss and changed my vacation schedule." He said that Tatiana
was not able to change her work vacation schedule to match his, on such
short notice. "I just want to see her!" "I don't care of she still has
to work all day, I have plenty of books to read," Mark said.
Mark traveled back to Russia. He and Tatiana were inseparable for
almost two weeks. When he returned to the USA, his first stop after
leaving Washington Dulles International Airport was my office. Still
groggy from jet lag and the time change, he insisted that I check over
his fiancée visa paperwork for Tatiana. That same evening we
received a letter from Moscow. It was a welcome home note for Mark that
he allowed me to share with you; "My Love! My Mark! You are my life!
All that is interesting for me is YOU!!! I am looking forward to our
life together. Forever and Only Yours, Tatiana"
I would say these are the words and certainly the actions of two people
very much in love. The separation while the visa is being
processed will probably seem like an eternity for them. However, I know
their love for each other will only grow stronger as time passes. I
look forward to seeing them as a married couple at an upcoming Saturday
Club!
All her life Euginia worked as an interpreter of English. This was
not her first time in the USA. I showed her the photos of both Encounters
International clients. Harold Isaacs, age 76, had a photo and profile
which interested her. Originally, from England, Harold has an active
and artistic lifestyle in Virginia. He used to sing in a Russian Orthodox
church choir! I gave Euginia his phone number and wished her good luck.
When I heard Harold's excited voice on the telephone early the next
morning, I knew the reason for his call. We talked about Euginia for
quite some time. I saw them together at our Saturday Club at the end
of the month and congratulated them on their engagement. They were married
November 10, 1999. Harold recently reported to me that their relationship
is growing with "great success!" The phrase "Age is just the number"
has a very special meaning for me when I look at their picture!
"Some women actually ask for men of color. One lady that I wanted
to write, was taken (and is now married) by a man in less than 30 days.
She asked solely for men of color, so we had one up! Most will say something
like, "race irrelevant" or "prefer darker complected man" or in the
description of men; mention nothing about race. Something like that!"
Frank Hardy called
with just one question, "Are there any women interested in African-American
men?" I explained to Frank that one woman had openly expressed an interest,
but was already exclusively corresponding with another African-American
client. After a brief conversation, he thanked me and hung up. I thought
that was the last time I would hear from him.
A few days later, Frank joined Encounters International. He told me
that he was impressed that I was so honest with him about the woman's
status of exclusive correspondence. He figured someone who simply wanted
his money would have tried much harder to sell him on the agency or
tell him what he 'wanted' to hear.
Frank is one of those guys that you hope always does well. His positive
attitude and friendly smile just make you want to wish him good luck!
Frank's attitude really impressed us, but it was also impressive to
his first choice, Svetlana. He contacted her shortly after he became
a member of Encounters International. About 9 months later, Svetlana
was his wife.
I don't want to give you the impression that all Frank did was join
Encounters International, make a choice, take a trip, and then marry.
On the contray, he worked very hard during his time as a client. Perhaps
harder than most clients ever have to for success. I think Frank himself
would agree that it was much harder than his 'regular' job as a senior
pilot. Like aviation, Frank's time as my client had its 'ups' and 'downs;'
some rather unexpected. But, that is a subject for his book.
Race is a difficult subject for some people to address. It needs to
be discussed without offending anyone. To that end, I believe that Russian
and Ukrainian women view a man's race similar to his age, height, weight,
or any other physical characteristic. None of them are as important
as what is on the inside. In other words, the color of a man's skin
is far less important than the content of his heart. I think that most
Russian women would agree with me when I say, "Color only matters when
it's in a box of crayons."
Interestingly, Shawn's photo caught her attention at about the same
time! Natasha sent him an 'unsolicited' letter that crossed en route.
What a great sign for a new beginning. To me, it seemed like Shawn
and Natasha fell in love after the second letter was exchanged. I knew
it was a promising relationship, bound for success.
A few months later Shawn was on his way to Russia to meet Natasha.
The two spent Christmas together and saw in the New Year 1996. Winter
in Russia? I knew he was determined and sincere. Shawn was one of the
few clients who did not complain about cold Russian winter when he returned
to the relatively 'mild' Virginia weather.
Shawn and Natasha were married as soon as she arrived on a fiancée
visa. Their beautiful daughter was born in 1997. Natasha changed her
profession in America from a photo model to a computer programmer.
I guess that is where Natasha's 'Americanization' stops. After more
than 4 years of being a loving, caring wife and mother she still has
a strong Russian desire to look and feel her best. You may have already
noticed the 'baby weight' is gone. Even the semi-casual atmosphere of
a Saturday Club can't diminish the need to feel good about herself and
her appearance. Love it or leave it; for better or for worse, do not
try to 'Americanize' a Russian woman.
"I am so lucky!!! I love everything in my life-I love Greg, I love
the place where we live, I love his children and I even love his ex-wife."
Greg Mitchell's first
contact with Encounters International was through the E I C X (Encounters
International Client eXchange) in November, 1998.
He described himself as potentially tough customer. I read his post and
then smiled. I thought to myself, "If he believes that custody of two
children and residency in Kentucky makes him a tough customer then he
has no idea what tough customers really are!" In this business,
it's not so much about what you have or don't have, or where you live
or don't live; it's about how you think and how you act.
One month later Greg decided to make a special trip to visit Encounters
International in Bethesda. With amazing determination he wrote me: "I
still plan on visiting your offices next week, on December 28-30." "I
am driving over there, so the only thing that can interfere with my
plans would be a blizzard!" "I will bring all the membership materials
with me."
The entire time I was thinking to myself, any man who would attempt
to make a nearly 500-mile trip in the middle of winter was either truly
dedicated to success, or crazy, or perhaps a little of both. Only time
would show the former to be the case for Greg! He was dedicated and
it paid off for him.
Well, Greg made it to Bethesda. After the initial "questions and answers"
session was over, he decided to join Encounters International. Greg
immediately immersed himself into watching the video interviews. While
he was in the office, I received a telephone call from Anna Eremenko,
a 29 year old medical doctor with a little daughter.
She came to California with hopes to get happily married; but things
did not work out for her. Anna sounded very sincere and impressed me
as a real sweetheart. I was deciding whether or not to accept her into
Encounters International. One thing bothered me a little about the photos
she had already mailed to me. They were not professional quality photos.
I was afraid that she would not be able to "compete" with images of
many other women who were coached by professional photographers.
I know that it is what is on the inside that matters most. So I asked
Greg if he wanted to speak with Anna. He was a little shocked by the
immediate introduction! But, that is how things work around here. Greg
also spoke to another woman, Valentina from Colorado. Both women spoke
good English. Both impressed Greg as sincere, bright, and interesting.
Both women wanted him to call again after he returned home to Kentucky.
As expected, Greg was overwhelmed by all this happening at once. Like
most of my clients, he looked to me for advice and council. Of course,
operating a personalized service matchmaking agency, this is part of
my job and the reason you join Encounters International.
In January 1999, I announced the date for the annual Encounters International
Open House. I also named four male clients that were visiting Moscow
and Kiev, as potential candidates for 200th engaged couple celebration.
Greg was a member for less than one month at that time.
Quite honestly, I did not think of Greg and Anna as the potential
200th couple. Yet they really surprised me when they called with the
news of getting married February 3, 1999. Greg and Anna Mitchell became
Encounters International's engaged 200th couple.
Since all this took place in the USA, Greg missed his opportunity
to travel to Russia or Ukraine as a single man. However, due to his
success 'locally' I am certain he has no regrets! Greg, Anna, and their
children are looking forward to a family visit to Russia instead.
The words from Anna and Greg always make me smile. New clients tell
me they are a little envious of Greg's situation and would be eager
to take his place. So much for the image of oneself as a "tough customer."
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As you can see in the photo on the left, just because a couple desires
to have several children does not mean they are not romantic. Technically,
just the opposite true! This photo was taken of Craig proposing to Larisa
at the very public 'Red Square' in Moscow. I believe any woman, whether
she has children, wants children, or is undecided would love to be photographed
in this same romantic situation.
"Anna and I are very happy! I am glad I
listened to your advice about who would be a good match for me. She is
a sweet person, very intelligent, and affectionate. She is the most interesting
person I ever met. It is so easy to fall in love with Anna, and I am a
lucky guy! Already I appreciate how nice it is to have a regular wife
again. Now I not only have a wife, I have someone who is actually there
for me, and I am there for her in any way that I can be. Life is so much
better when you have someone who cares, does things with you, and even
does things for you." 
